I wish to write about what I see and hear
About what I feel. And fear
Maybe it’s the luxury I have, to wish to look at beauty
And the wistful humming of a wood saw as a family hopes to build
A new life
It seems preferable than the racing imagination I have
Of the willful humming of the drones on Kyiv
Or rustling of the boots on sand
As Cubans prepare to defend their beleaguered land
And, yet my mind distorts, contracts
Like a muscle taking reps to build its strength
Breathe in, take in a family’s hopes and dreams
Breathe out, dispel the warfare in the air that clogs my soul
It doesn’t matter that those are not my hopes, those are not my dreams
It doesn’t matter that I am not at risk or under threat
At least not directly, as long as there’s a threat to one,
We are all at risk, we are all on the eve
Of destruction
It’s hard to watch for bees pollinating
When the air is so warm, moist, unnerving
Like it wishes to be heard, but hampered by the overheating Earth
It’s a desultory human race living on a rebelling planet of our own making.
The wind seems dampened, demurred
Flitting from disaster to disaster, flirting with undemocratic democracies and authoritarian cleptocracies
We wonder how we got here and press forward to get past it.
We claim to want to hear some answers, but when we hear them, we reject them for less difficult solutions, less evil and more comfortable
As if registering our discontent will return us to what we thought was there but was only what we wished we had
And I’m mindful that my appraisals seem unhopeful, that many will think unhelpful
After all, we’re all really trying to rid ourselves of evil, can’t we just catch a break? An E for effort?
I think you see the problem once it’s said.
We all want a despot to be gone.
It’s just that we’re not willing to see that it’s not only despots that brought us here,
But all those moments where we sought enough common denominators and accepted cheering on less evil well-intentioned non-despotic despots thinking it would be good enough.
But it takes a lot for something to die. It should take much more for something to live.
It takes a lot to destroy a people, buildings and infrastructure can be rebuilt. As long as the people still live, worlds can be rebuilt. It takes much more to learn and sing and dance and write and build a different way of being with each other.
If all we do is try recoup what was there before, we’ll not put an end to conflict. We’ll not bring about a lasting peace. We’ll just make peace with hate, idolatry, and war.
mtomas3 